Day 3/4: please tell me you didn't put your mouth on that thing!

sorry dearest readers for the delay, but i have been crying my eyes out because i am stuck here in my air conditioned office in america, too sad to type. too jealous to type.

but alas, here are some updates on our dearest love seekers.

warning--- I'll indicate when I completely make up or fabricate things--- but some of this is a collection of text messages these fools have given me.

let's get jenn out of the way, since she gave basically zero updates about the days between traveling and games.

FACT: After the USA vs. Ghana game, the group stayed in Pipa and explored the beach. Went to the beach area called Dolphin bay and saw zero dolphins... the highlight of jenn's day was: "i bought touristy havianas flip flops". BREAKING NEWS: JENN BOUGHT FLIP FLOPS. i know you waited the entire weekend to hear about that.

side note: jenn did inform me that two of the guys she is with (friends of ours from DC) decided to go into town to sell Trent's old iPad and iphone... they never came back. errrr until jenn forgot to update me until the next day when she said they were held up by military police on their bus because someone was busted for carrying a lot of cocaine. a quick errand turned into a DAY OF HORROR (but they are safe and sound). but don't worry, jenn, ashley and ray just moved on with their lives while they were missing... went on a dune buggy ride, along the coast to a lake, ate some amazing seafood.

(also trent speaks Portuguese)

boring, right?

(might be) FICTION: Jenn fell in love with a man from Peru named Taco and they walked hand and hand through Pippa, the sister town to Pipa where he bought her another pair of havianas flip flops and rocked her world. he asked her if she would marry him, but it got lost in translation. jenn thought he said "will you be my green card signer?" and she grabbed her fuschia flip flops and ran for the hostel, just before the sun rose.

this is what you get if you google "man named taco".... i like to believe jenn has better standards than this.


now vanessa! our little fast talking Portuguese is all grown up and heading off to Brazil!... for the 3rd time.

vanessa was a pack rat and brought an entire hiker backpack and then an additional suitcase full of american treats and requests for her brazilian friends this is what i imagined she looked like:



this is how i prefer to travel. forcing someone twice my age to push it around for me. and of course i look glam.



she was boarded in the last zone to Charlotte and was forced to check her carry on... all the way to Sao Paulo. tear. her flight left at 5:45pm.

she jumped on her flight to Sao Paulo 72 minutes later. she had the entire row on her 11 hour flight! this is what i imagine her to have looked like:



except for the whole not being a man or asian. give me a break, use your imagination.

she spoke to NO men. instead she just watched some hot guys in Charlotte get on a plane to LA. i am sure it was life changing. she has so much catching up to do to jenn. the closest thing she got to some man action was watching a couple make out. she was descriptive enough to inform me that girl was on top of the guy while they kissed!

also, she ate mac and cheese and then a bar from Trader Joe's. i know you were upset you weren't gonna know what she ate. she then informed me her stomach hurt. i told her that she has appendicitis and should come home immediately, but she didn't obey.

vanessa is not giving me hot people to google... she is getting some weird images on her posts because of it.

eating mac and cheese.

she then went through customs and left the Sao Paulo airport (airport code is GRU like gru from Despicable Me)



she had to sprint out of the airport and drop her goodie bag for her mission friends at the lockers (that she will pick up on her way back to Sao Paulo). In case you're wondering, according to her itinerary the locker costs 9 BRL a day. gripping stuff.

She then flew to to Recife (pronounced He-ci-fe)

Below is from our friend Logan:

Luckily for Van and Jenn their next stop, Recife, was ranked as one of the best places for single people in Brazil. It has the highest number of singles who wanted to get married :)

Unfortunately most northeastern Brazilians look like this...


while waiting for Trent to pick her up in Recife, Vanessa went back to her high school glory days (let's pretend i know for a fact that she was a band geek or something). she joined in this fun and colorful band!

to round out this super long post, i'll leave you with a hot guy, since today, these girls failed.

my World Cup crush from the Netherlands, Robin van Persie.



you're welcome.

xoxo,
domineau

DAY 2: She's THAT girl... the one who talks to you on airplanes.

UPDATE FROM JENN HERSELF! (she's italic bold, I add commentary)

Love my blog.  My flights in boys (would we expect nothing less? this is Jenn for pete's sake) Flight from Colombia to Rio: sat next to a great looking guy from DC named josh. Probably was a frat party boy in college traveling with his two frat brothers. Blond Greek gods. We bonded while watching the first episode of house of cards together. Synchronized of course. Lost track of him at customs in Rio. tear. this is what I presume he and his friends looked like: After losing Josh in Rio, got sucked into the scruffiest, cutest bunch of Ozzie boys (is this Aussie or like Ozzie Osbourne, are they now a social class?) that I hung out with at the fan zone for 4 hours. Alex was the cutest with no direction in life, a beard, long hair and such a bad boy travel bum. We had a lingering hug goodbye. What happens in the fan zone?!?!? WE NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED AT THE FAN ZONE. Alex?      Next: Hopping on my plane from Rio to São Paulo I passed out and woke up as the flight was landing next to 2 British lads. Who were fun and really upset that their team lost to Italy! Do NOT google British lads. There are some hairy backs you cannot unsee. This will have to be what the british lads she met resemble (that's One Directions for you unbelievers): Then: Barely made my flight from São Paulo to Natal. But then proceeded to wait in the plane for like an extra 30 min cause they oversold the flight and there were passionate debates over who was supposed to be in which seats. I sat next to this sweet semi dorky guy from Minnesota who had a really rough time with delays and had never traveled to Brazil before. Great smile and so innocently nervous. (This is what you get when you google Minnesota boy scared--- just imagine him with a 5 o' clock shadow) (Boy time is over) Lost track of him at the Natal airport as I waited patiently for ray and Trent to pick me up.... They never came. About an hour into waiting there was a realization that I was at the new natal airport which my ticket did not clearly show when I booked it. We thought I was going to the old one closer to the stadium.  About that time the boys who were stuck in traffic pulled over and got wifi to text me and let me know there was way to much traffic and they'd miss the game if they came to get me so I should leave my bags and taxi to the game.  2 problems. 1. All the fellow Americans or anyone going to the game had left an hour ago so I couldn't share a taxi.  2. And they had no storage lockers at the airport. When I asked information the guy looked at my sorrowfully and said, "sorry, no luck and that I was not the first person to ask him that". He said he felt bad but there was nothing they could do to help. I was aware that there was no big bags allowed in the stadium but I just said my prayer that I wouldn't get taken and it would all work out. (She will not get taken because she knows my warning! It only take a second to get taken.) Got in a taxi. Got dropped off 1.5 miles away from the stadium and walked through a sketchy stretch of road to the arena where I made eye contact with no one until the security gates. (The stadium looks pretty amazing though!) Miracle #1: I held my breath and They didn't take a second look as the passed my backpack through the screens and let me pass as well.. Miracle number one. Miracle #2: One of the last texts from ray was their groups block of seats. I had a seperate ticket but as craziness would have it my randomly drawn seat number was the one right next the the groups. So I went to my seat and found them there too.. Miracle 2. I missed the first 30 min of the game and first goal but I chalk my whole experience up as a win. Good times. If you missed her Instagram (and the only proof that we have that she is alive and there):  Stay posted for your next installment.... when Vanessa joins the fun. She already told me she is nervous for the blog... not to be in a foreign country with such delicious men.

DAY 1: What one would assume Jenn is doing....

****These facts may not be 100% true, but loosely based on the facts that we know****

As you know Jenn and Vanessa are heading to Brazil! Jenn is the worst at emails and may never post an Instagram and Vanessa is too cool for school, so I thought I'd keep you updated on the trip of a lifetime!

A wise woman once said this:

"It only takes one second for you to be taken."

-Miss Domineau Wiley 

With this said, I made them send me all of their travel plans, copies of tickets, passports so when their captors ask for a ransom and I have to contact the State department, I know what is what.

Here is a quick run down of what we assume Jenn's last day or so was:

- She got on a weird airline at Dulles (Fact: she was wearing chacos and looked ready for some humidity, Latin lovers and a hellish flight)

- She then flew from Dulles to Bogata, Colombia to Rio de Janiero, Brasil (that's how they spell it) and then to Natal, Brasil, landing exactly 24 hours after she left. This is who she sat next to on her flight from Colombia to Rio:

- She then sprinted through Customs, met Trent and crew, threw her luggage in her car, they left the car at airport and took a cab to the stadium!

- She sat in seat 20, Row JJ, Block 228 at Gate O to cheer on USA vs. Ghana!

(we hope) she saw this goal: http://www.espnfc.com/video/latest-videos/600/video/1886919

- She lost her voice, as she always does but watched one of the best USA soccer games in history. She may have even kissed a fellow American Outlaw (read about them here)

- She walked out of the game and was cornered by this guy, Ricardo: who saw her golden locks and her freckled smile and said "love me, my Chiquita banana"

- She then ditched Trent and crew for a few hours and walked around Natal: it was 77 degrees there with 79% humidity.

- It is presumed they rolled around here: 

- Fun facts about Natal that Jenn is too busy to tell you about: 

• Natal is home to the largest cashew tree in the world! It’s 500 meters around and takes up 7200 square meters of space… making it 70 times larger than a normal cashew tree!
• The word “Natal” means Christmas in Portuguese!
• In 2005, an official survey of the country identified Natal as the safest capital city in Brazil.

- Now there is no need to worry since she is in the safest city in Brazil! Tomorrow she will fly to Recife, where she will meet Vanessa. More on that itinerary to come!